55 is the new Teen

Someone told me the other day that 55 is the new 40 and I had to think about that. Their reasoning of course was that unlike our parents hitting 55, where they looked and acted like, em let see 55! , we tend to be much more active and with it. However, the more I thought about it, the more I concluded that no way are we the new 40. No way. We are much more like teenagers. Now hear me out. I was first struck by this idea when I received a call from one of my brothers who informed me that he was out looking for a job. He had been let go and was hoping to latch onto something in fairly short order. In the current economy it is certainly not a rarity and in fact, in my age group, it seems to be happening with more frequency then a rabbit coupling on a bunny farm. In fact I think I have more relatives and friends out looking for a job than are currently employed. That's when it struck me. This had not been the case since we were 16 and all looking for our first full time and / or part time job depending on whether one had decided to pursue higher education or hire education. My god, I thought, I'm going to have to decide what I want to be when I grow up!!

 

Now that is not my only evidence however, because, I have also had this lingering knee pain for the last year or more and it comes and goes, is mild to severe and always hits when there is really something fun to do. While I was popping yet another handful of advil to try to get my knees working, it occurred to me that I had been through this before. When I was a kid, I got these growing pains (ask my mother) that always presented themselves in the knee or hip or shins and my god they hurt. These pains feel just like that. Maybe I've started growing again. God only knows, my waist line has. Maybe my body has been tricked into thinking I'm sixteen again. With that little tidbit, I also remembered that about a week ago I slept in until 9:30 in the morning. Usually, I would have been up for 3 hours and had at least one nap. I can't recall sleeping in 'til 9:30 since (you got it) I was a teenager!!!

 

Now the kicker. Yesterday I was busy shaving when I felt a discomfort on the back of my neck. My hand slowly travelled the distance from the facial area to the neck area, all the time wondering, what in heavens name is that.

Mother of god, I had a pimple, full prom night, ready to burst on the scene and cause immediate embarrassment, honest to goodness acne. Acne so gargantuan that aircraft would radio air traffic concerned about the obstruction. I hadn't had a pimple that big since one took up residence on the tip of my nose in 1967 and finally faded to obscurity around 1978.

 

So you're still not convinced, well I was holding onto this one not wanting to pull out the big guns but you asked for it. When was the last time you saw a group of 55 year old women sitting around having coffee. I noticed this in one of the bagel shops the other day and its when my suspicions were finally solidified into the scientific equivalent of sure thing. One lady either not realizing how loud she was or completely oblivious to everything but her immediate table company (just like a teenager) started fanning herself with a newspaper creating an airflow that may have succeeded in lifting the Spruce Goose and telling everyone within the four surrounding counties that if she had another hot flash like the one she had last night she'd be "sweating like a pack mule in the Grand Canyon country side". This fueled a cacophony of "I got you beats" and "That's nothings" all dying to be the first to humble the previous tale. Well, I thought, wouldn't they love to know just how young they are.