55 is the new Teen

Someone told me the other day that 55 is the new 40 and I had to think about that. Their reasoning of course was that unlike our parents hitting 55, where they looked and acted like, em let see 55! , we tend to be much more active and with it. However, the more I thought about it, the more I concluded that no way are we the new 40. No way. We are much more like teenagers. Now hear me out. I was first struck by this idea when I received a call from one of my brothers who informed me that he was out looking for a job. He had been let go and was hoping to latch onto something in fairly short order. In the current economy it is certainly not a rarity and in fact, in my age group, it seems to be happening with more frequency then a rabbit coupling on a bunny farm. In fact I think I have more relatives and friends out looking for a job than are currently employed. That's when it struck me. This had not been the case since we were 16 and all looking for our first full time and / or part time job depending on whether one had decided to pursue higher education or hire education. My god, I thought, I'm going to have to decide what I want to be when I grow up!!

 

Now that is not my only evidence however, because, I have also had this lingering knee pain for the last year or more and it comes and goes, is mild to severe and always hits when there is really something fun to do. While I was popping yet another handful of advil to try to get my knees working, it occurred to me that I had been through this before. When I was a kid, I got these growing pains (ask my mother) that always presented themselves in the knee or hip or shins and my god they hurt. These pains feel just like that. Maybe I've started growing again. God only knows, my waist line has. Maybe my body has been tricked into thinking I'm sixteen again. With that little tidbit, I also remembered that about a week ago I slept in until 9:30 in the morning. Usually, I would have been up for 3 hours and had at least one nap. I can't recall sleeping in 'til 9:30 since (you got it) I was a teenager!!!

 

Now the kicker. Yesterday I was busy shaving when I felt a discomfort on the back of my neck. My hand slowly travelled the distance from the facial area to the neck area, all the time wondering, what in heavens name is that.

Mother of god, I had a pimple, full prom night, ready to burst on the scene and cause immediate embarrassment, honest to goodness acne. Acne so gargantuan that aircraft would radio air traffic concerned about the obstruction. I hadn't had a pimple that big since one took up residence on the tip of my nose in 1967 and finally faded to obscurity around 1978.

 

So you're still not convinced, well I was holding onto this one not wanting to pull out the big guns but you asked for it. When was the last time you saw a group of 55 year old women sitting around having coffee. I noticed this in one of the bagel shops the other day and its when my suspicions were finally solidified into the scientific equivalent of sure thing. One lady either not realizing how loud she was or completely oblivious to everything but her immediate table company (just like a teenager) started fanning herself with a newspaper creating an airflow that may have succeeded in lifting the Spruce Goose and telling everyone within the four surrounding counties that if she had another hot flash like the one she had last night she'd be "sweating like a pack mule in the Grand Canyon country side". This fueled a cacophony of "I got you beats" and "That's nothings" all dying to be the first to humble the previous tale. Well, I thought, wouldn't they love to know just how young they are.

 

 

 

The Fading Light of the NHL

Is it me or is the NHL going bad quicker than a jar of mayonnaise on a hot summer's day. I'm not talking about the players or the game, rather I'm talking about the NHL product in all of its forms. Allow me to enumerate some of the failings that provide this ever increasing feeling of product erosion. In the last several games that I've watched, the officiating has fallen to nothing better than peewee hockey, though this may be egregiously unfair to peewee officiating. I've seen pucks hitting the protector screen over the glass, high sticks (not just shoulder high - I'm talking well over your head high), face punches, missed off sides, slashing, goaltender interference, too many men on the ice (I mean 7 men on the ice!!!!), missed head shots, slew footing and hitting players from behind. All of these infractions have gone unnoticed by the very people purported to be watching for these very things and many of these offences have been turned into goals by the team committing those infractions.
This has a very significant impact on the game and how it is perceived by the very people this league is apparently trying to attract.

We have all witnessed the often pathetic, sometimes comedic handling of the Phoenix Coyotes debacle. In business, one expects an organization the size of the NHL, from time to time, to realize failings such as the Coyotes. An organization can't expand without taking risk and therefore I do not find fault with the attempt to put a team in Phoenix. Where I do find fault, was in their inability to recognize the severity of the problem before it got so far out of hand and to take remedial steps to correct its course. What they now have is one of the hockey's iconic figures (Gretzky), at odds with the NHL in a public way. Gee, this sounds all to familiar (Orr, Howe, Hull). Furthermore, the NHL has created the distinct impression in Canada that while it is perceived and treated like the poorer cousin; this cousin is basically picking up the tab (or a large part of it) on behalf of the richer target markets. Everyone understands that Canadians would enjoy hockey if it was played at midnight, broadcast on radio in a candle lit room. Heck, it is how the NHL came about, but I would be very cautious about letting that attitude permeate the country for too much longer, lest a European league takes interest in the Southern Ontario, Quebec and western Canada markets.

Finally, many Canadians wouldn't know this but there is a huge p#$%%#g match going on between cable tv and satellite broadcasting here in the great US of A. Caught in the middle of this are hockey viewers who have paid for but don't receive the services promised. It started with the lapse of the contract between Versus and Direct TV. Versus as you may not know, was given broadcasting rights by the NHL when ESPN showed no interest in their product several years ago. Nearing the end of September 2009, Direct TV announced it would not be broadcasting the Versus network as they were being held hostage by Versus for increased fees. Versus, coincidentally is owned by one of the cable companies. Why, may you ask, would the NHL not intervene in this little tiff? Well the cable companies are also owners of several teams in the NHL and have been carving out this little territory for themselves. Fair enough, as a viewer one realizes that if you want to watch the product you'll ante up the money for the NHL Center Ice package at a fairly hefty cost of $170.00 per year. Lo and Behold, if you purchase the NHL Center Ice package on Direct TV, the cable companies refuse to provide the HD signal that viewers of the NHL Center Ice package get with the cable companies. Even the games broadcast in HD from Canada are being blocked out.

Keep up the good work NHL.