This weekend my wife and I sent two of our three kids off to their respective universties and the third will depart tomorrow. In an effort to assist them while they're away and to ensure that they have 24 hour access to my fatherly advise without necessarily having to wake me at three in the morning (unlike Hillary I wish not to be distrubed), I have listed all of the cautions, comments, rants and raves so they need only insert them in to any particluar situation they feel most appropriately applies to the given circumstance:
1 No
2 Ask your mother
3 No!
4 Do you want to poke your eye out?
5 Do you want to break your neck?
6 Do you want me to break your neck?
7 Don't even think about it!
8 I don't care if your friends are going?
9 Have you done your studies?
10 What happened to the rest of the marks?
11 I just sent you money!
12 I just sent them lots of money!!
13 Who is he/she anyway?
14 What do her/his parents do that she/he needs to freeload off me?
15 Yes you may borrow your parents car as soon as the adoption has gone through.
16 Please change your underwear - its a new month.
17 Please change your underwear - its a new year.
18 Get out of bed ya bum!!!
19 You've had all semester to work on that (essay, paper, assignment, project, homework) but now you need help two hours before its due?
20 Oh for crying out loud!
21 Don't make me come down there!
21 What did your professor say?
22 What did your counselor say?
23 What did the police say?
24 What did the lawyer say?
and last but not least
25 Do you really think having another is a good idea?
There you are kids - call me when there's a situation that doesn't fit.
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About Me
- Ted
- I'm a 55 year old father of 3 and married for 25 years. All my kids are now in university which means I'm both poor and hopeful!! I own my own business and have so for 14 years. I play guitar badly, I sing even worse and love playing tennis, hiking and drinking wine, good beer and having the occasional cigarette. A vice is a tool.
2 comments:
I think that you need to move 'where are the rest of the marks?' to number one ..... you ask that a lot
Wow, I think I've actually heard every one of those answers at least once. (least being the key word in that sentence) I like to think it's because I'm the favorite child, but that is merely because I am blinded by my ignorance. Love you, and I will be visiting this post often.
-Kate
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